


Fallen Hopes

by rebshome



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Destiel - Freeform, Developing Relationship, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Dean Winchester, Domestic destiel, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Supernatural - Freeform, Team Free Will (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29263263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebshome/pseuds/rebshome
Summary: I suck at summaries but let's try.Team free-will has some spare-time, but suddenly Castiel isolates himself, he barely talks and stays in his room all the day. The brothers are worried and one more than the other. Fallen Hopes is about Castiel getting used to human feelings and Dean learning love next to him.so cheesy lolsorry this sucks i told you
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi um, sorry to ask but can you be a bit indulgent ? this is my first fic ever and i wrote it in english which isn't my first language... i asked a friend (@kittenp0ker on ig, follow her) to correct me and anyway, we did our best. I hope you'll like it :)  
> anyway enjoy !!  
> reb <3

Dean didn’t even know when was the last time he felt that happy. Today was nothing special, just him, his brother and Castiel in the study room of the bunker but he finally felt at peace.  No big bad to get rid of, no angels looking for them and no apocalypse either. It was just them, team free-will, enjoying peace.

He always wondered what he would do if he’d finally get some time and here he was, but he had no idea of what to do. He thought about watching a movie but he would rather do something with Sam and Cas. Even though, the past few days, Sam rediscovered Netflix and started to binge all the series he’d missed the last years; so he would probably turn down any good idea he would have.

So, Dean was just sitting there, foot on the table while his brother was reading, earphones on and Cas was... well... watching some videos about how to make honey. After all this time, the angel was still obsessed with bees... at least he wouldn’t use them as clothing anymore.

Suddenly, Sam stood up from his chair and, without even lifting his eyes, said “Okay guys, I’ll go read in my room now... see you at dinner.”

Cas’ eyes followed the younger brother as he left the room and turned back at Dean who smiled at him. “Everything okay, Dean ?” asked the angel. “Yeah, yeah” answered the hunter shaking softly his head. “It’s just hard to realize that there is no mortal threat and we can just... rest. And enjoy life.” Castiel stared at him, smiled and asked “Do you have  any idea of how you’ll enjoy it ?”

Dean laughed lowering his gaze. Actually, he had a bunch of ideas, but none of them were  _ good  _ ideas and also, none of them could be done. “Uh, no... holidays... Kind of new to me you know. I still have to get used to it”. “I understand” answered his friend, going back to the video his was watching.

Nothing else.

Dean kept staring at Castiel, not knowing what to do. He learnt that peace moments never last long and he definitely didn’t want to ruin this one. He looked at the clock, 6 pm. They could go for a drink. And a dinner. After all, Sammy probably wouldn’t even realize it would be dinner time and would just keep reading or switching for some chick shows.

Dean finally stood up and said to Cas “Come on man, you and me, we go for a drink... we deserved it don’t you think ?” he added grinning.

The angel slightly sighed, probably annoyed by letting go of this... bee video, and followed Dean outside of the bunker while putting on his trench coat.

The air was fresh and whilst Castiel was getting into the Impala, Dean got caught in his thoughts, remembering the time he didn’t use to know the angel. When it was just him and his brother hunting wendigos. It feels nearly impossible now, to him, to imagine a life without Castiel, without all the Heaven and Hell thing. Nearly impossible to him to remember why he wouldn’t believe in angels.

“Dean ?” called Cas from the inside of the car.

“Yes, yes, sorry I'm coming.” replied the hunter getting into Baby.

They drove a whole hour before finding the nearest bar they could go to, and as soon as both men got out, the angel turned to Dean and said “Maybe it would be better if you wouldn’t drink too much, Dean.  If it’s your first holiday night, you might as well want to remember it.”

Dean laughed and agreed before entering the bar, his friend just behind him. After all this time, Castiel was still uncomfortable in these kinds of places, looking awkwardly around him, stepping  one foot closer to his friend.

Smiling, Dean walked towards a table and after ordering two drinks, since Cas didn’t know what to order, he leaned closer to  his friend and said “So man, our first free night since... a bunch of time... How do you wanna spend it ?” “Um...” started the angel “Just being here with you is enough I think ” he concluded moving his gaze all around the room.

Smirking, Dean took the first sip of his beer trying to hide how happy he was. The angel was right. Dean and him... they were just better together maybe. 

The hunter didn’t have more time to think about it when a young woman walked in front of them, smiling nervously, playing with her hair and, turning to Castiel, said “Hi, um... sorry to bother you, I just wanted to um... say hi... cause I.. um noticed you and you’re really cute and I was wondering if maybe you’d... share a drink with me ?” she finished with a small smile.

God, if she were more nervous, she would have a heart attack, thought Dean, quite annoyed by her. Moving his gaze towards his friend, Dean noticed curiosity in the dark-haired man’s eyes. Of course, a lot of nervosity too, but it was there. Castiel was curious. It was pretty funny to watch actually. The hunter couldn’t help but remember how much Cas was nervous that time he brought him into a strip club. 

Of course, then, it didn’t end as it would probably end tonight with this woman.

Castiel’s eyes were going from the woman to Dean, wondering what he should do. Finally, Dean put an end to his struggle and smiling, he stood up and standing beside the woman, said “Well I... I'm... head out to the  bun .... to Sam.” Then added smiling even more “You two... you two have fun tonight. See you later Cas”. The smaller man had a scared and confused look on his face, probably wondering how to act now that he would be alone. 

As he was going out of the bar, Dean turned around and gave his friend a thumbs up, while he was looking back at him nervously. 

_ I can’t believe he’s the one with a date tonight,  _ thought Dean starting Baby,  _ I mean, it used to be me. The one girls would always want to share a drink with... more than just share a drink actually.  _

After an hour of driving, Dean finally arrived to the bunker, surprised to find Sam out of his room, sitting on the sofa while watching some weird documentary on an even weirder animal. That was less surprising. Turning his head towards Dean, Sam asked, his brows frown “Where’s Cas ? Oh Dean, don't tell something happened. By the way, where'd you head out ?”

“Hey Sam, calm down a bit” said the older man as he was sitting on the sofa in front of Sam. “We went to a bar, you know... civilization ?” he added smiling. “Anyway, a girl came and started flirting with Cas so I just left so they could have some privacy.”

“You left Cas alone. With a woman.” repeated Sam slowly. “You mean to tell me, that Castiel and not you succeeded on having a date tonight ?”

A few seconds of silence floated in the room when Dean finally said “Oh come on Sam, I could’ve had any girls I wanted in that bar. I just wasn’t in the mood, that’s all. I just wanted to share a good time with a friend not ending my night in some chick’s bed”.

“Okay okay, sorry, my bad.” said Sam lowering his gaze to the remote he was holding in his hand.

“That’s okay... anyway, you ate tonight ?” asked Dean.

“Not yet, I was caught in my book and then I was just... too tired to cook I guess”.

“Ah... well, tonight we’re having cheeseburgers Sammy ! No pickles right ?” smiling, the younger brother nodded while Dean was already heading out to the kitchen.

Twenty odd minutes later, the hunter was back on the living room, holding two plates and giving one to Sam while he sat next to him. Dean took the remote and switched channels until – _ yes finally-  _ Doctor Sexy M.D appeared on TV.

Both the brothers had started their burger when Dean’s phone suddenly rang. Not even looking who was calling, he answered smiling “Hi it’s Batman, what can I do for you”. Next to him, Sam softly shook his head and the person on the phone finally talked.

“Dean, it’s me” said a deep voice.

“Cas ?” asked Dean putting away his plate and standing up. “What’s going on ?”

“Um... could you... Pick me up, please ?” awkwardly said the angel. “I’m in the motel next to bar we went”.

Dean released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He had to stop worrying for everyone. Things were good. No threat.

“Yeah sure Cas, I'm coming. I’ll be here in... maybe an hour ? Less if I go faster.”

“Go faster please. I wouldn’t want having to explain to the woman I slept with why I'm leaving even before 10pm. It doesn’t sound very polite.” added Castiel.

“Um, yeah” said Dean trying not to laugh, “I’m coming, I'll call you when I arrive.”

He hung up and turning to Sam said “I gotta go pick up Cas... looks like he doesn’t want to spend the whole night with this woman after all”.

_ Why am I smiling so damn much ? _ his thoughts wandered.  


“Why are you smiling so much ?” asked Sam.

“What ?” blushed Dean. “I don’t smile. Shut up. See you later”.

He quickly left the room and drove for the third time in the same night the same road. He drove quite fast though, as Castiel asked him to do. Poor little angel... his people skills are so... well, rusty.

He found the motel and immediately called his feathery friend. He just had time to say “Cas, I'm here.” That Castiel hung up. Dean only waited two minutes before seeing the front door opening and his friend getting out. He walked straight to the Impala and entered in without a word. 

“Cas” asked Dean. “You alright ?”

“Could you just... drive home please.” said the angel not looking at him.

“Everything okay ?”

“Just... drive Dean.” replied harshly Cas.

_ Wow... touchy. _

Dean started the car and succeeded on getting home in half an hour by driving even faster than he did before. He just wanted that awkward silence to go away. As soon as they arrived in the bunker, Cas almost ran into his room. Not a word to anyone. 

_ What the Hell ? _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy,  
> same as last time, please remember english isn't my first language and this time i sent this chapter quite late to my friend (kittenp0ker on ig go follow her) and she didn't have time to correct it, since i wanted to post the chapter for the destiel wedding (lol) anyway, i hope you'll like this chapter... i love writing destiel conversations ;)  
> and btw no one cares but yesterday (actually this morning at 4am) i finished season 11 of supernatural. probably the best season so far ? i don't know. maybe.  
> anyway, good reading !!  
> reb <3  
> ps : how we feeling about the destiel wedding today ? do you have your clown costume ready ?  
> pps : please be indulgent :)  
> ppps : if you want to follow me on ig i'm @/rebsedit so you'll know when i'll post the next chapter

“What do you mean, ‘he doesn’t talk’ ?” asked Sam after Dean described him the weird behavior of their friend. 

“I don’t know, man. He just got into the car, asked me to drive home and he’s been in his room since last night. He didn’t even got out to have a breakfast, and you know he always have a coffee on the morning.” 

“Um... no, I didn’t, but I guess I do now” said Sam, his brows slightly frown. “Maybe we should go talk to him. I mean whatever happened with that… woman, we could... explain ?” 

“You mean have the Big Speech with him ?" replied Dean. "Dude, he’s an angel, he must know this stuff.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right” started Sam “Plus to be honest I really don’t wanna have to do this. It was enough uncomfortable when you did it” he added. The brothers stared at each other while they shivered remembering this awkward moment. 

“Okay, what do we do then ? We just sit here waiting to see if he talks ? Man, I tell you, he’s weird okay ? I don’t like it.” said Dean harshly. 

“Okay okay, then maybe we could...” started Sam. 

“We could what ?” repeated Dean. 

Suddenly a little cough came from behind him and a well-known deep voice said “Hello Dean. Sam.” The older brother turned quickly towards the angel standing there in the entrance of the room, wondering what he’d heard from their conversation. 

“Hey Cas” said Dean. “How you feeling today ?” 

“I’m... okay. Thanks for asking.” he added, going to the kitchen. 

The two brothers made eye contact and followed the angel who started making coffee. _Finally something normal_ , thought Dean. 

“You um...” he started “You wanna talk about yesterday maybe ?” 

“There is nothing to talk about” answered Castiel still turning his back on the brothers. 

“Oh come on Cas” said Dean walking next to his friend. “You’re sure you don’t wanna talk about it ? You know you've been acting a bit... weird since then and I... we just want to be sure that you know... everything was fine.” 

“Everything’s fine, Dean.” only repeated the smaller man still lowering his gaze on the mug of coffee he was holding. “I think I'm gonna go in my room for a while”, he added leaving the kitchen as fast as he came here. 

Dean turned back to be in front of his brother and, raising his eyebrows, he followed his friend into the corridor. Behind him, Sam stayed into the kitchen. _Great_ , thought Dean, _maybe_ _Cas_ _will feel more comfortable if Sam’s not here._

He got to his friend’s room and knocked twice before asking “Hey man, you okay there ?” 

No answer. 

“Okay” finally said Dean. “No need to talk. You just listen.” 

He just said those words that music started playing from the other side of the door. _Dammit angel._ _Since when do you even know how to put the radio on ?_

In the room, an Elvis song was playing and Castiel increased the volume. 

_Really ? Elvis ? Ugh,_ _Cas_ _I just_ _wanna_ _talk. Wait_ _,_ _since_ _you_ _just need to listen... an_ _d…_ _you_ _can_ _hear_ _prayers I think I might have an idea._

_Castiel_ _,_ started Dean sitting on the ground, his back on the door. _I don’t know why this makes you_ _uncomfortable and I don’t know why you feel the need to isolate yourself_ _, but I just want you to listen to me alright ? Whatever happened between you and this chick_ _yesterday it’_ _s okay, we can talk about it and maybe we-_

Suddenly, the door behind him opened and the hunter fell back and soon realized he had his head between his best friend’s feet. Standing up rather quickly he looked into Castiel’s eyes for the first time since yesterday. He waited for him to talk, which came after a very long minute. 

“Dean, what are you doing ?” he finally asked. 

“Making sure you know I am here for you. No matter what.” Immediately replied the hunter. 

“I know Dean, I just...” the angel’s gaze slipped of from the hunter’s while he kept his sentence unfinished. 

“You just what ? Man come on, I hate seeing you like that. Just please… let me know how I can help.” 

Castiel looked at Dean again, and in his eyes the hunter could see how uncomfortable the angel felt. _Whatever is going on in his mind it must be something huge…_ first thought Dean. Both men were staring at each other one waiting for an answer and the other one probably wanting to leave as far as he could. In his attempt to help Cas open up to him, Dean put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. 

Slightly closing his eyes, the angel sighed and finally said “These past weeks, I… I have started to feel quite…” he stopped, his gaze fixated behind Dean, wondering about the right word to use “uncomfortable… with certain human habits I wasn’t used to.” 

“Oh” was all Dean was able to say. “Certain human habits ? Like what ? Physical stuff or-“ 

“No. Emotions. Feelings. I am not…” the angel focused on Dean again and continued “I am not used to feel things and lately it has become more… present.” 

“More present ? How ?” asked the hunter pressing softly his hand on the other man’s shoulder, encouraging him to talk. 

“I don’t know” harshly said Castiel. “I have no idea Dean. I don’t know if you noticed but I am an angel and I am not supposed to… have human emotions. So, I don’t know why these feelings get more and more present lately, I don’t even know how to read them.” 

“Okay okay calm down buddy” answered his friend laying his other hand on the smaller man’s free shoulder. “Listen, I know this must be… uneasy, for you. But it’s not a reason to stop talking to us and just lock yourself up. You won’t find any help by spending your time on your own in your room.” 

“I think I just needed time to… process things.” 

“Process what kind of things ?” asked the hunter. “Something to do with the chick of last night ?” 

Cas’ stare moved quickly to Dean’s eyes and he stayed still for a few seconds before answering. 

“Amanda… yes, she was… really nice. But I... talked to her and… she said a few things that had me... thinking.” 

“Okay, what did she say ?” 

The angel stepped back and withdrew from the taller man’s hands only saying “I don’t want to share our conversation. It was… private.” 

Dean’s gaze lowered before he answered “Okay um… that’s… fine, I guess.” He looked back at his angel for a few seconds before continuing “Well at least I’m relieved that you’re okay. I mean for a moment I thought that I did something wrong and you…” 

_And you would never talk to me again._

“I don’t know” said Dean instead. “I was worried man, and Sam too so… don’t you do that again, okay ? When you have problems or stuff you need to talk about, we’re here… hell I’m here for you Cas” he added finally. 

Castiel stared the ground for some seconds before saying in a low voice “I know Dean, I just didn’t feel comfortable talking about this… humanity... in me.” 

“It’s okay, I get it” replied his friend. 

Both men stood there for a long minute before Dean started talking again. 

“Maybe, I have an idea.” 

Cas’ brows frowned as he answered “An idea for what, Dean ?” 

“An idea to help you understand your emotions and read them” replied the taller man grinning. 

“I am not sure that’s-” 

“Oh come on buddy” said Dean putting both his hands back on the angel’s shoulders. “It’s gonna be fun, I promise. And we won’t do anything that could make you uncomfortable, I swear” he added noticing his friend was trying to interrupt him. 

The hunter was smiling widely and he held his friend while waiting for his answer. In front of him though, the angel of the Lord remained silent and instead, he slightly tilted his head and stared at Dean as he often does. 

_Why does he keep doing that,_ thought the human, _I mean, come on, my idea wasn’t clearly that bad… Why does it takes him so long to answer anyway ?! Come on angel, let’s have some fun for once !_

Finally, Castiel sighed – _again,_ noticed Dean – and only said “Alright Dean”. 

On his shoulder, the dark haired man could feel his friend's hands going away and something happening inside him. This time, he knew the feeling, or at least, he was used to it. In fact, it became more and more common as days passed. 

_Lack._

Castiel didn’t really understand it. He recognized the feeling a long time ago, but he didn’t comprehend it at first, he just felt a hole inside him, like he was missing a part of him. Like he had no real reason to be fully happy. He wondered for a few days whether he should talk about it with Dean or Sam, but he was aware that both brothers would probably feel uncomfortable about having to talk about feelings. Instead, he took his phone and googled the symptoms he had. Pain inside him, not physical pain, clearly, so he deduced it was linked to his new part of humanity. Maybe heartache ? He couldn’t tell. He searched for half an hour before finding an answer that suited him. 

_Lack._

He still couldn’t tell the cause though. 

He kept watching at Dean, who was standing in front him. 

_What the Hell is he thinking ?_ he heard Dean thinking _. Am_ _I annoying him ?_ _Maybe_ _he_ _wants to be left alone ?_

“Should we… start now ?” Castiel said to reassure his friend. 

He had been hearing him since years now, every thought linked to him, Cas would hear it. It occurred to him that he should have probably mentioned it to the hunter but after all this time it would probably be weird to do so. 

“Um… Yeah, sure” replied Dean his smile growing wider. 

He liked seeing Dean smile. 

“Okay I know what we could do.” he continued “It’s not much, I know, but it could be a good beginning, you’ll tell me what you feel, and I’ll tell you what it is. After all I’ve been human longer than you, and for once it can help” he added beaming. 

“Alright Dean.” 

_I like it that he always says my name,_ thought Dean as he always does when Castiel says his name. 

“Come on” he said, heading back to the living room. 

Behind him, the angel followed him in the room, where they found Sam sat on the couch. The hunter barely stopped to say “Sam, Cas and I we go in town. We’ll be back for dinner alright ?” 

“Alright. You two have fun !” replied the younger brother not even moving his gaze from the TV. 

The two best friends soon got out of the bunker and as they got into the Impala Castiel finally asked Dean where they were going. 

“You’ll see soon enough, man.” replied the hunter as he started the car. 

They drove for an hour or so until they arrived in front of a place called _Cinematic_ _Wonders._

A cinema. 

“A cinema ?” asked the angel. 

“Hey, before you start ruining my idea, you let me try alright ?” 

Cas slowly nodded as he followed his friend into the building. He heard him talking with the man in the entrance, he didn’t really understand what they were talking about, something about a metal man and a retrospective. He didn’t get the meaning but it seemed to make Dean happy. 

They got into a room and sat in the middle, they were just a few of other people next to them. After two hours of a movie where a man was flying thanks to a red armor the lights switched on again and the two friends got out. Cas had just put his foot on the sidewalk that Dean immediately asked : 

“So ?! What did you think about it ?! How did you feel watching it ?!” 

The angel stared at the human, thought about it for a few seconds then answered. 

“I felt… my heart beat faster at some point. It was exciting ? And it was funny too. I liked it.” 

Dean smiled completely and put his arm around Cas’ shoulder as they walked to the car. 

“Awesome, man. This was my favorite movie ever, I’m glad you liked it.” 

“I don’t understand how this could help me read my feelings though” said Castiel. 

“Come on man, you’re kidding right ? You know how many emotions you have when you watch a movie ? You’re thrilled, happy, sad… it’s probably the best way to understand feelings.” 

“Then maybe, next time I should be the one picking the movie” replied the angel. 

“Ugh” sighed the hunter his head down “If you really want to. Anyway, that was cool. And start to get ready for our next adventure.” 

“Our next adventure ?” slowly repeated Cas. 

“Well, yeah, you still need help with reading your feelings right ?” 

With a small smile, the angel nodded and they started driving back to the bunker. 

_Next adventure,_ wondered Dean. _Damn, I have to find something amazing. Something about feelings. Something… I don’t know. Should I ask_ _Sam ?_ _No, no way. Maybe we should do something random, something everyone do. Something like a fun fair_ _maybe ?_ _I think Sam told me about one near the bunker. We could do that. Yes, that’s nice. Fun fair it will be then._

They arrived at the bunker a little bit too fast in Castiel’s taste. He enjoyed spending time with his best friend. He didn’t really had any friend until he came here on Earth, and the fact that someone would mean this much to him never ceased to amaze him, and he figured that would explain why he cherished so much those moments. 

The two men joined Sam who, for once, cooked dinner. Cas wasn’t hungry, obviously, but he stood there anyway, listening to the casual conversation the brothers would have, which he never really had with any of his, and catching any little thoughts Dean was addressing him. 

_“Tomorrow’s_ _gonna_ _be amazing”_ was the last one he heard before the hunter fell into sleep. 


End file.
